REFLECTIONS OF 32 YEARS...

03-19-2000

My father left before I was born.
My mother disowned me.
My grandmother did everything in her power to ruin my self-esteem.
My brother beat me with a hard-plastic baseball bat, and put cigarettes out on my arm.
Man has landed on the moon - too young to remember that.
I've seen the Atlantic twice and the Pacific once.
I've been dead four times, carbon monoxide poisoning each time.
I've seen Mt. Shasta, the St. Louis Arch, the Mississippi River, the Statue of Liberty, the World Trade Center towers.
I was watching tv when the Challenger exploded, killing all.
I've cut off two fingertips, which were sewn back on.
I cried when John Lennon died.
I saw the end of the 60's with the death of Jerry Garcia.
I designed computer games.
I made friends worldwide, on the Internet, and cried when one of them passed away - she was only 25, she was too young to die.
I fell off a bridge.
I saw the fall of communism.
I saw the re-unification of Germany, the wall finally coming down.
I have never taken an illegal substance, been addicted to any narcotic, and have never smoked grass.
I saw KISS perform live three times, the last time on their Farewell Tour.
I cried all night when Eric Carr passed away. RIP Eric.
I saw a war broadcast live on tv.
I've had friends pass away.
I have friends sitting in jail for life, never getting out.
I was on a tv programme.
I watched a friend's dream of stardom become a reality.
I've held friends' hours-old new-born children.
I've seen relationships blossom amongst friends.
I've seen relationships fall apart amongst friends.
I saw a car accident right before me.
I've been in four car accidents.
I was in a car that hit a deer.
I held my grandfather's body and cried until the paramedics got there.
I saw baseball fade a bit, when Harry Carey passed on.
I saw a disease run rampant, killing anyone, not just one class of people.
I saw the world come together to remember one man, Freddie Mercury.
I've seen friends marry.
I've seen friends get divorces.
I have been ripped off by people I thought were my friends.
I remember losing my virginity.
I have been offered aid by people I barely knew.
I've seen 8-track and vinyl replaced by cassette and cd.
I've met Hyapatia Lee in person.
I've seen computers become a household appliance.
I was engaged to someone I loved, who I thought loved me.
I've given of myself to the point of total exhaustion, even getting rushed to the hospital for pneumonia.
I watched shooting stars at night with a girlfriend.
I've had a loaded .38 stuck between my eyes.
I've become friends with people who, if it wasn't for the computer, would have never given me the time of day otherwise, and vise versa.
I've watched friends move away, looking for happiness.
I saw a friend's mother an hour before she passed away.
I've seen eclipses.
I saw Sam Kinison. RIP Sammy.
I saw Stevie Ray Vaughan.RIP Stevie.
I had three squad cars called on me.
I saw the music of Guns and Roses topple a country.
There is no year of my entire life that two or more countries weren't at war.
I remember when MTV did not allow political stances or personal opinions from their vj's or the channel itself.
I remember Star Wars when it first came out at the theatres.
I remember going to see Jaws when it first came out.
I watched Lady Diana wed Prince Charles on television.
I watched the news coverage of her death.
Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" was the longest charting lp in history.
I've seen the communicators of Star Trek become the cellular phones of today; the doors that open automatically when you approach them become a reality.
I witnessed a shooting.
I was in an apartment that was broken into.
I have become so jaded and disinterested in almost everything around me. My music has become my only island of sanctuary.
And these are just a small handful of the past 32 years.

Do I really want to know what the future holds any more?